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November 30th, 2006

Dehumanizing the War

George Orwell introduced me to the concept of words being used to defend what is indefensible, saying that our language “becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.” The reality of life for those suffering in Iraq provokes different reactions within our culture, covering ground from empathy to resentment, with words acting as the catalyst for what we choose to accept individually as the truth. I’ve never agreed with the notion that it is our right as a nation to impose our will by force onto others when nothing has been done to warrant it. To understand what I’m getting at here, let me say that a nuclear bomb droped on Osama’s location in Afghanistan following the 9/11 attacks wouldn’t have offended me, but the occupation of Iraq always has.

Innocent people have been kidnapped, mutilated, tortured, executed and their bodies tossed aside like garbage by the hundreds for months now, at the hands of insurgents and ethnic militias fighting for political power . Now they are being burned alive. The amount of needless suffering our selfish actions have prompted in Iraq should naturally ashame every one of us. This is not the case though, as the psychological trick of dehumanizing all of it is one that we Americans have mastered. To the tune of a phrase like “war is hell” we trick ourselves into honestly believing that apathy is a virtue, bestowed upon the evolved mind. And so, the details of an Iraqi’s smoldering demise, or that 200 of them were murdered on the same day, either has zero effect or it prompts indignant contempt towards the messenger. At the end of the day it’s still the foolishness that Orwell describes taking hold, but in terms of our culture and this war, our humanity resides in the frigid depths, far away from the light.

Posted by Al Swearengen as Military at 9:39 PM UTC

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November 27th, 2006

Happy Trails (rough cut)

Not unlike the others that had walked beneath that holy bridge of the insane people of Marsh, the blond haired boy paid his respects with a subtle bow.  Not enough for many of the onlookers who believed some sort of discomfort or hardship was the only sincere way to pay homage to the bridge.  His gesture, while much more than was usually seen from outsiders, still allowed the feelings of contempt to arise in the wicked townspeoples’ minds.  Better for him to just move on now, but the plans of this young man were quite the opposite, and now, he would never dive into the water or toss his purse into the river in respect for the bridge or its enthusiasts.  How he survived as long as he had up to this point was a testament to the natural resilience of his people, or better put, the generally astute understanding of the art of bullshiting that seemed to resonate naturally in their minds at a very young age.  So the question today, ‘who is this kid?’  Followed by an even better one, ‘why did he choose to travel by means of the rivers when roads had been carved out years before?’  The answers to these questions weren’t known by anone in the insane town, but truth be told, we weren’t dealing with brilliance here, nor was the spirituality invoked through this ceremony much to marvel at either, if not for the natural setting it created to allow for even the most idiotic among them to easily understand what to look down upon without having to be told.  The one they turned to for direction on such matters was more like them than they cared to understand, he too could not manage to break through the low ceiling that generations of rough bridge-mandated inbreeding had established.  Wisdom of a certain quality, though regulated to the picking of only the worlds’ low-lying fruit, was still enough to manage a necessary exploitation of the generally gullible nature shared by those around him.  Immediately his impression of the stranger was the same as that of his people, though instead of speaking to this, his instinct urged instead to do the opposite, as it had again and again in the past, ultimately making him who he was to the people.  As the bridge provides, so does he, in ways that nobody is supposed to understand, just respect, admire and give things to. 

“Our guest did not arrive here by accident.”  

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:29 PM UTC

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November 26th, 2006

Senator Chuck Hagel – “Leaving Iraq, Honorably”

There will be no victory or defeat for the United States in Iraq. These terms do not reflect the reality of what is going to happen there. The future of Iraq was always going to be determined by the Iraqis — not the Americans. Iraq is not a prize to be won or lost. It is part of the ongoing global struggle against instability, brutality, intolerance, extremism and terrorism. There will be no military victory or military solution for Iraq. Former secretary of state Henry Kissinger made this point last weekend.

The time for more U.S. troops in Iraq has passed. We do not have more troops to send and, even if we did, they would not bring a resolution to Iraq. Militaries are built to fight and win wars, not bind together failing nations. We are once again learning a very hard lesson in foreign affairs: America cannot impose a democracy on any nation — regardless of our noble purpose. We have misunderstood, misread, misplanned and mismanaged our honorable intentions in Iraq with an arrogant self-delusion reminiscent of Vietnam. Honorable intentions are not policies and plans. Iraq belongs to the 25 million Iraqis who live there. They will decide their fate and form of government…The world will continue to require realistic, clear-headed American leadership — not an American divine mission.

Read the rest of this entry

Posted by Al Swearengen as Military at 11:54 PM UTC

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November 24th, 2006

bBlogBouillibase – Thanksgiving ’06

Procrastinating, can’t seem to stay on point tonight w/ assignments and all, so here’s some stuff I’ve been looking at. The first is probably one of the strongest scenes ever.

The Wire – Cutty Quits (Slim Charles, Avon, Cutty)Snoop buys a nailgunSnoop and Chris (New York Niggas) using the nailgunWhere’s Andre? (Cold Blooded, Chris & SnoopBunk & McNulty (Natural Police) ——- South Park – Stan’s Dad Field Sobriety TestVote or Die!Cartman’s the Dawg, Explaining how babies are madeJimmy tries to say to Wendy “you are a continuing source of inspiration…”Jay Leno comes to South Park -

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:17 AM UTC

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November 22nd, 2006

Massachusetts

Someone on the Control Congress board hit a nerve in me today, talking trash about my state. The population numbers from 2000 and 2005 show almost a 1% rise, but according to him people are leaving because of the STD infected, homosexual agenda being pushed on kids in schools. So many people in this country hope for my state to crumble, yet when it doesn’t, the tactics of deception and bunk spiritless voodoo take over. You know what I think? I think they hate us for our freedom!

Gay marriage has been legal here for a couple years now, and civil unions for even longer in Vermont, with neither showing the negative social effects predicted by homophobic fear merchants to this day. Massachusetts is home to some of the best schools in the world, so isn’t it predictable that the right-wing would despise academia? Indeed, and so the devil that intelligence represents is discarded, with a void that is then filled with nonsense about how evolution is a myth, global warming is a myth, and “just wait a few more years and from the sky a supernatural being will descend, casting all the hethons who think they’re so smart down to hell while you go to heaven.”

Thankfully, our street-smarts can smell the stink coming off that age-old lie from a mile away. So when a child in school doubts something as basic as evolution or whether condoms are effective or not, we tell them the truth. The desire of one taxpayer to deny benefits for their neighbor based on prejudice and fear is not championed as freedom. To get what some of us surely want, the public schools aren’t going to be denying the scientific fact that sexual orientation is determined by nature. We’re not going to lie to them because we’re too lazy or uncomfortable to act like adults. The idea that there’s such a thing as the “good lie”, and that the ignorance it breeds will keep us safe, is typically dead-on-arrival in my state.

Resentment over Massachusetts’ dedication to truth, science and freedom is found everywhere in the political arena, which tells me that we’re still leading the way. I’m proud of that!

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 2:11 PM UTC

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November 19th, 2006

Zakaria: McCain’s Plan For More Troops ‘Just Willing More American Deaths’

This Morning on ABC, commentator and foreign policy scholar Fareed Zarkaria slammed John McCain’s plan to send more U.S. troops to Iraq, saying it “will not work.” Zakaria explained that “we have enough troops” but the Iraqi government won’t let them “go after the militias.” According to Zakaria, sending more U.S. troops to Iraq in this context is “just willing more American deaths.”

This fact (in bold) is not understood by the American population. Mainly this is because the press refuses to educate us on such specific points concerning the war, remaining much more inclined to reduce everything to a level suitable for a 2nd grade elementary school classroom. (1) A Shiite military general feeds locations of Sunnis who are popular in their communities to Baghdad – - – - (2) A Shiite political leader elected to serve in Baghdad hands over the information to a militia – - – - (3) The militia conducts kidnappings, mass executions, torture, etc. often leaving the bodies in some place where they will be found and reported on – - – - (4) The US Army investigates and quickly determines who is to blame, to include the Shiite military general who was involved – - – - (5) Word is sent to Baghdad that so and so should be arrested and investigated in connection with the murders – - – - (6) Baghdad does not act on the information sent by the US Army, releases a press statement saying the evidence is flimsy and the accusations were either incorrect or overzealous – - – - (7) The next day brings about another example where steps 1-6 are relived, day after day after day after day.

Zakaria is one of the smartest people in the media and has been right about everything he’s said on Iraq since day one. Anyone who’s not sure about McCain’s motivation for wanting more troops sent in, let me assure you that it’s 100% political, and the only purpose of it is to be able to say in 2008, “if we had gone with my plan to send in more troops, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now with all the violence in Iraq.”

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:13 PM UTC

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November 17th, 2006

bBlogBouillibase 11/15/06

School’s back on already, so again I’m stuck with a head full of ideas, but no time to put something worthy of anyone’s time together.  So…here are some videos, a lot of “guy stuff”, as I browsed YouTube the other night with the question of “what would I have been watching on this site when I was 12 years old? 

Roddy Piper smashes a beer bottle on his headPJ Stock vs. Gino Odjick - Tie Domi vs. Bob Probert - Marty McSorley vs. Bob Probert - “We Didn’t Start the Fire” – Boston 80s Sports Version - Bootleg – Ortiz beats the Yanks in Game 5 ALCS

Big Paws on a Pup (the wire – marlo/michael/kids on the stoop)

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:15 PM UTC

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November 16th, 2006

A Time for Realism

The idea was horrible to begin with, and it was carried out by the most incompetent batch of losers we’ve ever had in the history of our republic. Those who believe we must remain have only fear to offer, and politics now require them to predict the end of the world if we leave. The future prestige of the United States isn’t their concern, but rather the future prestige of their political party. To read the words of a true believer like ‘eeevil conservative’, you’d think that war was an issue on par with the federal defecit or illegal immigration. Take a position that we need to stay, and basically ignore the fact that our enemy has gained strength and capacity over the past two years, along with the reality that political figures within Iraq are using their power to murder the “base” of their opposition. In this country we have Democrats and Republicans, but in Iraq it’s all about which descendant of Muhammad is going to come back to life some day.

The US Army doesn’t have the authority to arrest an Iraqi Army general whose orders are to capture and kill Sunnis for no reason other than the fact that they’re not Shia. We’ve been there for 3 years, and nothing positive has resulted from it. Iraq is a failed state in the throes of civil war, and the United States is responsible for it. The lives of hundreds of thousands have been ended or ruined because of us, and our military is turning soldiers into slaves through “stop loss” just to maintain the appearance of authority over there. So to the hack political mind, willing to believe or fear on command, the fact that 100 headless courpses weren’t found a couple blocks from your house may allow you the comfort of faith and trick you into believing it’s all that’s needed to prevail, but at some point you should be able to dig down deep into your heart and scrape up some empathy for what we’ve done to these people in Iraq.

Iran this, Iran that…we had a mission here and unlike social legislation that can be fixed later on down the road, in war it’s essential to get it right in order to win. The true-believers still left don’t believe in this statement. They insist that in order to win, all you have to do is say you’re going to win over and over and over again. At least long enough to have an opposition party to blame for losing once it’s finally time to end this immoral cluster of death and failure known as the Iraq War.

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:09 AM UTC

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November 15th, 2006

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

 

 

–Rudyard Kipling
 

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 8:51 PM UTC

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November 13th, 2006

Fire Doc Rivers NOW!!!

I’ve had it!  In the Utah game he’s faced with a situation (in a game we can win), where Sloan takes out Fisher and inserts another big, with the front line consisting of Kirilenko, Boozer and Okur.  Doc responds by taking out Ryan Gomes (at the time the tallest player we had on the floor) and bringing in another guard, making Pierce the center. We can’t cover their guys on the post and we can’t pull down a rebound. We lose the game.  Tonight we’re playing Orlando and what does he do as Aziza heads to the line for 2 shots?  If he hits both, Orlando is up by 3 with about a minute left.  Aziza isn’t that good of a free throw shooter, so a rebound is likely.  Doc pulls out Perkins and “goes small”…Aziza misses the second and the substitution equals an offensive rebound by Turkoglo, who Perkins would have been on had he remained in the game.Compounding Doc’s stupidity in terms of personell is that Orlando was able to call the exact same play twice in a row with under a minute left and beat us with it both times.  On the first play, Nelson runs the pick and roll, and Gomes automatically switches with Rondo.  Nelson crosses him over and drives right past for two.  After a timeout, where Doc has a moment to draw up something new on defense, what happens? Nelson again gets a pick, and Gomes again automatically switches with Rondo…two points.

Here’s what I posted last time on Rivers, and I challenge anyone who disagrees to tell me how I’m wrong.

http://deadissue.com/archives/2006/10/21/tell-doc-rivers-to-dust-off-…

It’s not to say that Doc doesn’t have a head full of good basketball smarts; he’s just a horrible head coach.  At least Jim O’Brien’s teams weren’t providing every team that came into town an easy 50% shooting night and any matchup they wanted at any time. At least Obie could wrap his head around what was happening right in front of his face and adjust.  With the leadership of Doc Rivers to rely on, the players are doomed to fail on the defensive end, night in night out.  He’ll never understand it.  So if Danny Ainge hasn’t realized this fact just yet, then perhaps he’s not the man for his job either!

Posted by Al Swearengen as sports at 11:28 PM UTC

4 Comments »

Getting Testy – Getting Illegal

This is a letter sent to controlcongress.com.

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander, and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.–>My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.–>Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.–>Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures.

I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many
colleges throughout the United States for my son.–>Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively, if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin

My response to the attitude behind this letter:
Sure, but before this can happen, you’re going to have to be droped into Mexico City with $100 cash and the clothes on your back. From there you can start your journey north. Plenty of people die on the way, so be sure to bring water, a good pair of shoes, food and a map. Chances are you’ll be robbed or caught a couple times, but if you remain viligant and keep at it, I’m sure you’ll be back in Maryland within two years, in plenty of time to pay that 2 grand…

So this is going to be it huh? The illegal immigration issue…are you suggesting we install a policy like France, or one resembling Germany?  For any American voters intent on understanding this issue fully, I’d suggest doing some research on the policies of those two countries – inundated with Muslim immigrants as opposed to our seemingly less faith-heavy hispanics. Look at those two countries and see what the end results of public policies being pushed here in the US actually look like.

I get a kick out of people living in this country in this time…a blessing when you think about it, considering that fate could have landed any one of us in Africa or the Middle East just as easy, we’re better than any other people on earth at feeling entitled.

We’re entitled to invade a soverign nation and alter the lives of hundreds of thousands who either die or flee…for the sake of cheaper oil to put in our cars. But don’t think (this is to everyone in the world and in this country who doesn’t have a social security number) that you deserve anything but a “made in China” size 12 boot up your ass courtesy of the American people. What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine, and pick up the garbage you come across on your way out!

Joke’s on us though, because the illegals are here to stay, regardless of how many we round up and send back. That ship has sailed. The question now is whether we assimilate them or create a problem we’ll have to deal with in the future.

The right-wing “tough on crime” attitude towards immigration is going to be just as effective as the “war on drugs” has been. 

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 1:32 PM UTC

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November 12th, 2006

House Shaping Up

Pelosi backs Murtha for majority leader – Speaker-in-waiting Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) threw her support behind Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) for majority leader Sunday, giving a significant boost to Murtha in his race against Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-Md.). Read the rest of this entry

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 11:18 PM UTC

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November 9th, 2006

Howard Dean

Smart guy.  50 state strategy.  Nicely done.  Organizing all the gay male prostitutes’ in America with names, phone numbers, addresses and client lists.  Brilliant.  CSPAN is getting a makeover.  Will anyone notice?

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 11:27 PM UTC

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November 7th, 2006

1999 – The Army Plans For Iraq

War games are held, with the most sophisticated simulations that money could buy at the time, and the results weren’t what the neoconservatives’ analysis showed them after running their own war games, with the most sophisticated asian hookers that money could buy at the time, hundreds and hundreds of pheasants with their wings cliped, plenty of top shelf booze, Cuban cigars…of course I was doing my best penguin immitation throughout these simulations, spending 16+ hours a day in one of three expando-vans connected to one another, monitoring radios, marking down movements on the map overlays on top of the geographical yellow yellow yellow with rivers for the engineers to rig up bridges to cross, combat teams of 2 tank companies and a mechanized infantry company whose fisters are already dead from an hour ago, and some poor bastards…these imaginary companies of 11B, infantry without the Bradley to drive around in…they’re humping it 80 miles on foot, and the scud missiles will not get in their way, because nothing will get in their way, not the oil wells on fire at 15 separate grid points all 16 digits long, recorded by specialist swearengen in between two filthy spits of coppenhagen and the feeling of deja-vu mixed with another feeling, something like the feeling a NASCAR pit crew member gets when the lugnuts come right off with the gun, then right back on in no time…”****-4, Ramrod-4 OVER”…drop the gun, pick up the receiver and talk back, record numbers, call out to Dragon-1 and Dragon-4 and Ramrod-1 and Knight-1 and Knight-4…wait a minute and three of them get back with their numbers…Ramrod-1, Dragon-4, Dragon-1…5 minutes later and all the numbers are in, numbers crunched, called up to division and the laminated unit insignia and laminated missile hits and laminated oil well fires and laminated enemy positions all with their own piece of scotch tape stuck to the back onto the overlay with the phase lines and notes and all kinds of bullshit to be deemed useless in about 5 hours once the battle is over and we start all over again and again and again for about 40 days in the middle of nowhere, Germany…

The neoconservatives had their ideas, and I suppose it’s possible that the likes of Rumsfeld, Cheney, Kristol, Perle, Wolfwicz, etc. were simply brilliant in a way that tens of thousands of millitary officers and the simulations weren’t…I’m just glad that they were wise enough to make the most of all that training and preparation.  The Documents – detailing something I actually lived through.  Imagine that…I do two of these warfighters and get to miss the actual war, which turns to shit because the outcomes of the warfighters were ignored. 

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 2:54 AM UTC

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November 6th, 2006

Grumpy Old Men

collageClancyYesSunTsuNo

The Army Times is coming out tomorrow with a call for Rumsfeld to go, and Cheney has come out and said that the public can’t take his toys away, nor will he testify in Congress if ordered to do so.  The President, of course, is reading a book with a classroom full of children…and the White House staff is drawing straws to determine who is the one that has to tell him that Democrats took over Congress, something that requires the purchase of a helmet and bulletproof vest first thing Monday morning. 

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 2:24 AM UTC

4 Comments »

November 4th, 2006

From the Protestant Reformation to Focus on the Family

“We ought to embrace the whole human race without exception in a single feelilng of love; here there is no distinction between barbarian and Greek, worthy and unworthy, friend and enemy, since all should be contemplated in God, not in themselves.  When we turn aside from such contemplation, it is no wonder we become entangled in many errors.”   -John Calvin

The evangelical Protestant movement as a whole is not the kind of religion we perceive it to be, embodied in Pastor Ted Haggins and his mega-church in Colorado Springs.  What we’re seeing in his case and that of James Dobson is rather the evangelical movement as a marketing force for itself, rather than a marketing force for God.  There are too many parallels between the marketing of born-again evangelical Christianity and the marketing of Apple computers as I see it.  The evolution of Protestant religion in the case of born-again evangelicals from the Reformation to today is a case study in becoming what one despises through the ignorance of one’s own history.  While the Catholic church’s hook being that baptism at a certain age in a certain setting ensured entry to heaven helped to retain through fear the person whose curiosity would have lead them down a different path, the Protestant faith generally rejected such things, while embracing the two sentences I chose to open with up above.  Today we see that not only has the hook been made part of the evangelical Protestant faith represented by Haggard and Dobson, but that they’ve managed to add several barbs to it as well.

It is my firm belief that God plays less of a role in this religion than its members would like to think.  Debates that leverage scripture are healthy and relevant, but not to the extent that these folks use it to make their points.  Getting back to the marketing concept, when you debate a born-again evangelical using scripture, it often feels like having a corporate lawyer explain to you the fine print on a contract you failed to understand fully before signing.  Ala our government’s runup to the Iraq War, they fix the facts around the favored policy, and never give up.  If you’re not convinced, it is their duty to rescue you, and ultimately it comes down to ‘Father Knows Best’.  Though, by the time you finally come around, you’re too punch-drunk to realize it. 

Posted by Al Swearengen as Religion at 2:11 PM UTC

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November 2nd, 2006

Pastor Ted’s a Queen

I wrote about this guy here, Born Again Christianity’s Jihad on America, having been aware of mega-churches for quite a while, Ted Haggard seemed more political than Chistian to me, and his “flock” ate up every word he spoke without questioning a word. Partnered up with James Dobson, the duo has been destroying human minds by the thousands, by means of a message that focuses heavily on the book of Revelations and how each of us can make this world better if we focus our spirituality less on the teachings of Jesus and more on the task of demonizing and judging our neighbors. Millions of souls collected, millions of dollars raked…”fat camp” for queer kids is in business to turn them straight, and teach them that satan tricks them into believing that they are acceptable as they are. The gay kids are reprogrammed, still gay, but equiped with enough hate for themselves to think they’re straight, marry a woman, have five kids, and ruin all of their lives someday…

The former prostitute, Mike Jones, 49, of Denver, went public with the accusations on Tuesday, saying he felt compelled to do so because he believes Haggard, a strong opponent of same-sex unions, has been hypocritical. Haggard is married with five children.

I made myself cry and I made myself sick,” Jones said about his decision to come forward. “I felt I owed this to the community. What he is saying is we are not worthy, but he is. Jones says he was contacted three years ago by Haggard for sex – he thinks through a gay newspaper advertisement or an online ad he posted on rentboy.com. Today, Jones showed the Denver Post an envelope addressed to him from “Art,” a name Jones says Haggard used – sent from an address in Colorado Springs. Jones said the envelope came to him with two $100 bills inside. Jones also played a recording of a voicemail left for Jones from “Art.” Jones refused to reveal what the topic of the voicemail was about because there could be legal problems and he wants to consult with an attorney.

They want to protect the sanctity of marriage and I am trying to figure out what that means because they are not doing a good job,” Jones said of anti-gay marriage proponents. “To have someone in such a high profile position preaching against them and doing opposite behind other people’s backs is hypocritical.

What now? Well, keep the money flowing in, put someone in Pastor Ted’s place and keep it going. Pastor Ted isn’t gay…because there’s no such thing…he’s simply been the victim of satan’s knack for temptation.

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 9:34 PM UTC

5 Comments »

November 1st, 2006

Cork, sandbags, prayer and the invisible dartboard

I am anticipating the announcement of Osama Bin Laden’s death, expecting it to be the biggest news story of the day as I wake up every morning. Bombing campaigns near the Durand Line, an arbitrary border line separating Afghanistan and Pakistan imposed in 1893 by the British, are in my opinion the potential key needed to unlock the “October Surprise” treasure chest to see once and for all whether there’s anything left inside. Confirming Osama’s death would be impossible, but a mere glimmer of hope and some battle-tested propagandists being told to believe it,would be enough to transform the final 72 hours of campaigning into a one-topic nightmare for Democrats in close races. Our national press would not have the time or the cahones to do the right thing, and as long as the story could hold past election day, the truth behind it wouldn’t even matter. It would end up in the pile along with memos from Downing Street, the NIE on Iraq’s impact on global terrorism and any piece of consensus science dealing with stem cell research or climate change.

Because as it looks right now, the voting machines are all that’s left between tranquility and the imminent skull fucking about to take place once Democrats gain the power to issue suponeas up and down the President’s org chart. Foolish isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the decisions being made at the White House these past couple weeks, with the man campaigning across the country for candidates who cannot be seen with him, some “we do not torture” oldies and the bungled discarding of “Stay the Course” thrown in for good measure. The wheels are already flat, but he intends to put the pedal to the metal regardless, like a car being chased on the highway in an episode of Cops, sparks flying all over the place as metal grinds on pavement every second the suspect remains ignorant of his own futility, perhaps too stoned or hopped up on speed to give a shit…just enjoying the buzz and feeling relevant and powerfull for as long as it lasts. Sometimes in these situations the brain becomes so addled and delusional that it seems like nothing can stop it, and with reality being what it is today, that’s certainly the case here.

Mark Foley and Bob Ney going out like they did, Dennis Hassert playing out the Christopher Guest meets Pink Floyd’s ‘Animals’ role of a Pig to perfection, and now we’ve got even more shame in the form of George Allen’s campaign turning violent to keep a constituent from asking a couple questions, Congressman Jim Gibbons running for Governor of Nevada being accused of drunken sexual assault (wait for it…”alcoholism yada yada yada I love Jesus”), Congressman John Sweeney knocking around his wife last December, Rush Limbaugh’s embarassingly ugly attack on Michael J. Fox, the consistent contradicting of what Bush himself says concerning torture and stay the course by Cheney and Rumsfeld, complete with some scattered jerky bullshit about how the right thing to do now is to preemptively strike Iran and Korea, courtesy of Bill Kristol (the Drew Bledsoe of geopolitical punditry) and Brit Hume…”it’s hard work”.

Amen to that! And watch out for cluster bombs if you’re going to be traveling through the Pashtun and Baluch regions around the Pakistan/Afghanistan border in the next few days. Don’t forget to bring along a first aid kit, plenty of clean underwear, at least ten pints of blood in a cooler and of course your pre-paid legal card in case someone tries to steer you towards Guantanamo along the way.

Posted by Al Swearengen as Words at 2:01 PM UTC

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